Getting Married8 Sep 2014
From time to time mother’s express their hope to me. The hope is that their disabled
son or daughter will find a partner who can love them, respect them and work with them as my husband works with me.
Right off the bat I will admit that I got lucky when I found my husband, Andrew. The truth is that it is not all smooth sailing and that the relationship takes work as we both struggle with our own disabilities and the limitations they give us. We also need to be patient and not expect too much from each other also.
The most important thing that happened to me while I was growing up is that I was brought up in the real world. I had responsibilities and I was made accountable for the choices I made, etc.
My parents never pushed me to get married, however, they did want me to be able to live as independently as I could. I remained living at home until I got married as that was the ‘cultural’ thing to do in my family at the time and honestly – who wants to live alone just to prove they can.
As our wedding approached, we both had fears and some people around us questioned how we would manage. Looking back we managed really well and we still do today because we take time to communicate (most of the time) and we take the other person into consideration when making choices (most of the time).
We have also been blessed with encouraging and supportive parents who have pushed us together and supported us when we have needed a hand (not too often).
My tip to parents who one day wants to see their disabled child married is to start with real life now and no sugar coating or wrapping them up in cotton wool.