Can-Do-Ability: Answers and Solutions from my personal experiences of living with a disability

Getting Married

8 Sep 2014From time to time mother’s express their hope to me. The hope is that their disabled son or daughter will find a partner who can love them, respect them and work with them as my husband works with me.

Right off the bat I will admit that I got lucky when I found my husband, Andrew. The truth is that it is not all smooth sailing and that the relationship takes work as we both struggle with our own disabilities and the limitations they give us. We also need to be patient and not expect too much from each other also.

The most important thing that happened to me while I was growing up is that I was brought up in the real world. I had responsibilities and I was made accountable for the choices I made, etc.

My parents never pushed me to get married, however, they did want me to be able to live as independently as I could. I remained living at home until I got married as that was the ‘cultural’ thing to do in my family at the time and honestly – who wants to live alone just to prove they can.

As our wedding approached, we both had fears and some people around us questioned how we would manage. Looking back we managed really well and we still do today because we take time to communicate (most of the time) and we take the other person into consideration when making choices (most of the time).

We have also been blessed with encouraging and supportive parents who have pushed us together and supported us when we have needed a hand (not too often).

My tip to parents who one day wants to see their disabled child married is to start with real life now and no sugar coating or wrapping them up in cotton wool.



Would you like to comment on this article?

Name: 
Location: 
Comments: 
  Enter these characters into the red box
Please type the red letters and numbers into the red box above. This is to protect our system from SPAM and viruses.

Previous Comments

Julie from Darwin posted on 8 Sep 2014
Martha, You were certainly blessed with a wonderful family and a huge dose of reality. I really like your final advice: not to sugarcoat life. No-one gets through life without challenges- even those of us who don't have obvious disability. The kindest thing adults can do for any child is support them to learn to be resilient- ask for help when you need it, but don't give up and join the 'do-it-for-me' crowd who never get to experience the joy of succeeding under their own steam when with a bit more effort and thought, they could have done it. :-) All the best Martha. Julie

Blog Archive

Focus on Ability Short Film Festival 2017
Posted: 6 Jun 2017

2016 IASSIDD World Congress Day 4
Posted: 18 Aug 2016

2016 IASSIDD World Congress Day 3
Posted: 17 Aug 2016

2016 IASSIDD World Congress Day 2
Posted: 16 Aug 2016

A better way of describing the autistic spectrum
Posted: 2 Jun 2016

Ouch Disability Talk Podcast
Posted: 7 Apr 2016

Have you heard of Anosmia
Posted: 5 Apr 2016

When society thinks you'd be better off dead
Posted: 31 Mar 2016

I'm not being anti-social
Posted: 29 Mar 2016

Time to think about how to create a more inclusive Australia
Posted: 23 Mar 2016

World Down Syndrome Day
Posted: 21 Mar 2016

Start adding captions to your videos
Posted: 15 Mar 2016

 
Copyright © 2017 Nova Employment & Training ProgramWeb Design: Steve Daniel